Fools' Bizarre Adventure
by The Swordslinger
Summary: One-shot as a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure tribute. Ichigo Kurosaki is known for being bold, dangerous and not a very friendly guy. When he meets Naruto Uzumaki, someone who throws aside all common sense, it's pretty obvious they won't like each other. But the two are fated to find some answers regarding what the reason to their strange powers are, and perhaps beat each other up. AU.


I OWN NOTHING

As some of you may know from some of my other fics, I do love myself some JJBA. The whole franchise redefined the word "fabulous" and made some memorable crazy moments.

 **XXXXXX**

Give me a break

Karakura Town, a place filled with possible friendships, strange encounters, and more than a rumor about the paranormal. No normal person would believe such a thing, and would most likely laugh it up. But some news had been surrounding the whole small city and its inhabitants.

One such rumor had been revealed to be true numerous time: that a boy with spiky orange hair and a school uniform could be seen beating the crap out of punks without even needing to lift a finger. The rumor had some flaws, though. One such flaw was that said boy, currently wearing Karakura High's school uniform, was midair with his right leg lashing in an arc to a biker's head, kicking with such force that he broke the guy's helmet. Said poor bastard landed face first on a plank fence, left to hang there with his head stuck on the other side. The redhead boy stood up and glared with sharp brown eyes at his opponents, the knocked out guy's friends.

The boy, about fifteen and with a handsome if somehow permanently scowling face, turned to the other bikers before him who couldn't help but shiver on their bikes, "First question." The teen started, cracking his knuckles, "Where do you think you are?"

The nearest biker looked nervously around, finding a sign on top of a building, "Uh… near Leaf Orphanage?"

"Damn straight!" the teen shouted, with his right fist breaking the helmet's visor and sinking on the biker's face. The last biker gulped when the teen gave a single step towards him, "And what do you think happens when those kids can't sleep because all of the street races that you punks have started here?!"

The biker gave the smartest reply he could: "You'll… *gulp* beat us up?"

"Congratulations." The redhead said with a smile, and then his knee met the biker's face, once again breaking yet another helmet, "You won."

This boy was Ichigo Kurosaki, student at Karakura High, bachelor, and very questionable with his methods of doing things.

"Um…"

The teen turned to see a little boy with spiky brown hair, a pair of goggles, a yellow shirt with a red leaf drawn on it, blue shorts, and a missing tooth, "Nii-chan, what're you doing?"

Ichigo sighed and knelt down before the kid, "Sorry about that, I just-"

The brunet turned to him with a weird stare, "I'm not talking to you, Carrot Weirdo."

Ichigo felt three veins bulging on his forehead, but his anger died quickly at the sound of a humored male laugh, "Good one, Konohamaru."

The redhead turned to find an odd teen, definitely his age. This teen had short spiky golden hair, deep blue eyes, a light tan, and six whisker-like marks on each cheek. The carrot head had time to see that both wore school uniforms. But where Ichigo's jacket and pants were gray the blond teen's clothes were black. Ichigo wore a white button up shirt with a loosened blue tie hanging from his neck, and had a gold skull badge on his left jacket's breast. The blond however had an orange button up shirt with no tie, but with golden chains printed into the cloth. Last but not least, Ichigo wore brown shoes while the blond had black ones.

The blond turned to the redhead and locked eyes with him, raising his right hand in a loose fist while his left remained in his pants pocket, "Who're you?" Ichigo asked.

The newcomer chuckled and aimed a finger at the carrot top, "I don't like you." the blond said simply with squinted eyes and a pout.

Ichigo was taken back by such childish answer, "The Hell?! Why you-" he grabbed the blond by his collar, towering by a few inches over him, "What was that for? You don't see me just coming here to tell you what I think of your face!" And, now that he was this close, he could see that the marks on the blond boy's cheeks were actually scars.

Surprisingly, the blond was also strong, which he showed by gripping Ichigo's wrist so hard the redhead thought he heard a bone crack, "You brought a fight to this place." The blond growled with a glare, "If you wanted to fight those punks, you shouldn't have done so here."

The two saw words weren't going to suffice, so they jumped back away from the other and took a stance each, odd stances at that. Ichigo kept his left hand on his hip, leaned slightly backwards, and aimed his right hand at the blond, but doing so like he were about to chop something or using his hand as a sword. The blond leaned forward slightly, his right fist still keeping a loose grip as it swung down, while his left hand remained in his pants pocket.

The blond grinned, "You're one too…?"

The redhead groaned, "I knew that energy wasn't normal… What are you?"

The blond chuckled, "You should ask yourself that, buddy. After all, you also have a Stand, or rather a normal one." He clenched and unclenched his hand, "My Lotus Juice is a bit of an odd case, but it gets the job done."

Ichigo tested the words, as if tasting it, "Stand…" he whispered and nodded, "So that's what it's called. I simply named mine Megadeth…"

The blond nodded, "There's another reason why I don't like you, but I'd rather beat some answers out of you first." He growled at the redhead and aimed his index finger at Ichigo, "But remember my name: I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'll make you acknowledge me as the man that'll defeat you!"

To Ichigo's surprise his opponent dashed at him and swung his fist, to which the redhead replied by swinging his opened palm at him. "The name's Ichigo Kurosaki…" he said, returning Naruto's policy, "And I'll make you eat those words!"

From Ichigo's back erupted an enormous figure. It was humanoid, its body was pitch black, tall, and very muscular. What stood out was that the strange being's legs and arms were covered in bone-like gauntlets and greaves. From each knuckle a spike came out to make the punches that much more painful, and the knee guards had a pointy spike each. Its torso was covered by a breastplate that resembled a ribcage, covering every inch of his chest in a study looking bony armor. Its shoulders had guards shaped like skulls missing their lower jaws, and the head was covered by a helmet. The helmet's face was akin to a demon mask: with sharp slits for eyes, sharp teeth, white horns that poked out the sides of the head, and red marks that went from above each eyebrow horizontally to the chin. A wild and long mane of orange that reached the being's thighs made it look even more feral.

From Naruto's hand something different came out. It was a chain with a strange pointy bladed tip at the end, like an arrow's. As Ichigo examined blue ethereal chain it swirled around the blond boy's fist and covered it like a glove. Ichigo's eyes caught to the watery appearance of the chain, along with a few air bubbles that could be seen inside of it. To the redhead it didn't matter, the large dark being flew at the blond and threw his fist forward, which the blond countered by throwing his one hand armored with the chain. Then Naruto took a deep breath and exhaled evenly. Their knuckles collided, and Ichigo stepped back, clutching his right hand with a pained look on his face. From his knuckles a few burns had appeared, and for an instant a golden spark of electricity was seen on Naruto's knuckles.

Naruto grinned and the chains disappeared, "What was that?" Ichigo panted, "I saw you breathe and then you used some energy to blast me." he aimed a finger at the blond, "What're you playing at? There's no way that you used your Stand to harm me on that punch. Megadeth should have cut into you, unless the energy you're using is not from your Lotus Juice, but your own body."

Naruto clenched his fist tightly, "You figured it out… But as far as I can see, you're at a disadvantage." He spread his arms, and chains fell from his sleeves, "Your Stand is strong, fast, and incredibly precise. But my Lotus Juice and my techniques are something completely different. Now, let me show you…" he squatted before Ichigo, sitting in the air while his chains hung limply at his sides.

Ichigo's eyes widened when the right chain tensed and the tip started to move forward, right at him, but didn't go any further than the length Naruto allowed it to have. Then the left chain shuddered as if the wind managed to lift it. Its tip moved in circles, before shooting forward, this time sailing through the air right at Ichigo. The redhead groaned and jumped backwards. But seeing the chain give chase by actually changing directions in a ninety degree angle turn, the carrot top knew he was in trouble. And just when the tip was about to strike him, Ichigo summoned his Stand's legs. They appeared over the teen's limbs, taking shape before kicking the ground along Ichigo to send him up towards a roof.

The chain stopped chasing him and Naruto pulled it back, locking eyes with Ichigo, "For someone so mad for me fighting at this place, you're being a hypocrite."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes when Naruto wagged a finger at him, "I said I'd beat some answers out of you, since that's the only way to get anything from a Stand user." He lifted his left hand, showing he had managed to pull something, Ichigo's jacket, leaving his arms exposed due to his shirt being short-sleeved.

"What?!" the redhead shouted, ready to pounce on the blond.

He didn't follow through with that plan, for Naruto looked worried and then… sheepish, "Oh…" the blond chuckled nervously, "Wrong one…"

"Explain yourself!" Ichigo cried.

Naruto raised his hands defensively, "Look, I've got other Stand users to question, so can we skip… this…?" his eyes widened, for his right hand had a deep cut on his palm, ' _Was I cut? When? How? Is this his Stand's power?_ ' he shook his head, "Listen, just let me go and we won't have to see each other again. I got the answers I needed from you."

Ichigo replied with a powerful head-butt, sending Naruto's head rocketing backwards, "Do you think I'll let someone as dangerous as you roam around to fight anyone he crosses?!"

Another head-butt, this time from the blond, "You have no idea what I'm doing, idiot!"

The two locked glares, reared back their heads, and slammed their foreheads against each other. Their grip loosened and the two fell backwards, seeing stars spin around in front of their eyes with matching groans while they lied sprawled on the ground.

Ichigo put effort into speaking, "Calling someone an idiot when you do things this recklessly… You're a hypocrite…"

The whiskered blond huffed, "Up yours, Carrot-head."

"What's so important for you to fight everyone you see?" the redhead asked, trying to not move so the numbness in his mind and body shook off on their own.

There was a pause, followed by, "A man with eye tattoos on his right arm…" the blond replied, "I'm looking for him. Have you seen anyone like that?"

Ichigo chuckled, "Couldn't have asked first, could you? But, no. I don't know such a guy."

"Tch… I see. Fine, back to square… zero."

"Don't you mean square one?"

"Whatever…" Naruto then strained his head to look at Ichigo, "But, if you don't know him or ever saw him, how did you get your Stand?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, "If I knew, I'd tell you… Speaking of which. How did you get yours?"

Naruto was thoughtful for a bit as he looked at the sky, the sun was setting down and mixtures of red and purple danced up, "I got hit by an Arrow, six times. Three on each side of my face. That's how I got these scars."

Ichigo raised a brow, "You got hit by an arrow six times in a row? As in the same arrow?"

Even if he couldn't see him, Naruto nodded, "The man that shot me had a Stand too, and was followed by the man with the eye tattoos." He cringed, "I was walking home and they appeared just like that. I thought they were some thugs after money so I was ready to punch them… I didn't see the arrow until it hit my face."

"How are you still alive?"

"It wasn't a simple arrow. It was THE Arrow, or something. There was something special on it…" he then chuckled, "And I guess I lost… Here I am explaining everything to you."

Ichigo waited for a beat of silence before speaking, "Mine just appeared out of nowhere. One day when I was going to school it came out of nowhere and punched a car when it was about to run over a little kid. Both the driver and the kid were amazed to see the large dent on the front of the car, the punch managed to change the driver's course and keep the kid out of harm's way. But none of them could see it. I learned little by little how to control it, and named it Megadeth when the name just… came to me."

Naruto chuckled, "So you're a softy inside… Who'd have thought with a face like yours?"

Ichigo grunted but couldn't get up, "Fuck you…"

The blond was about to get up, but the dizziness made it hard, he still tried to look tough, "If you want to finish this fight, by all means. We know who will win."

"Is that a joke?" the redhead growled, "I hope you better imply that you'll be sorry for all the shit you gave me today."

"Bring it on!" Naruto shouted.

The two tried to get up on wobbly legs, but fell to their knees and rubbed their foreheads, "Are you giving up already?" the carrot top asked with a mad grin, "I can do this all day!"

Naruto growled, "Not my fault your forehead's too thick. And you're joshing now, because I'm about to-" he paused when he noticed blood coming out of Ichigo's forehead, and he could tell that from his own more blood was sipping out with the sticky warmth that dripped down his face.

The two groaned simultaneously and fell face-first on the ground. Ichigo spoke first, "Ok, we can't fight… Let's call it a truce, for now."

"Fine, fine…" Naruto conceded, "Now, let's get to a clinic… And then we can kick our asses to our hearts' content."

"Sounds good."

Konohamaru, who had watched it all, felt beads of sweat build on the back of his head, "It's scary how similar those two are…"

XXXXXX

"Ichi-nii!"

The two boys groaned as they leaned on each other for groggy support. The moment that Naruto saw the sign of the Kurosaki Clinic he knew he'd need to lie like a professional con artist. Even if his first idea of a family for the redhead had been something akin to a gathering of monsters hidden in human skin, nothing could've prepared for who greeted him and Ichigo. It was a cute girl of about ten to twelve years old, had short mustard colored hair, lively brown eyes, and the prettiest kind of smile that'd give you diabetes with its sweetness. She also had on a yellow sundress and a white apron. In her hand was a broom, and Naruto feared for a moment it'd smack him on the head if she knew what just happened.

"Ichi, is that… who's that?" a girl with a face set in a permanent scowl – showing she had to be related to Ichigo even if she was something cuter to look at – glared at the blond. She had a white shirt, black shorts, and her black hair in a mop. She also looked quite athletic and the blond knew, he just knew, that she was pondering how to kick him for massive damage should the true explanation of why both were bloody not please her.

But the two gracefully decided to fall face-first on the floor with matching groans, "Yuzu…" the redhead said as he turned to the blonde girl, "Get us something to wipe this blood." He then turned to the raven haired girl, "Karin, get the old man to patch us up… It's a long story."

Things were a bit of a haze from then, Karin got in a shouting contest with some old man, and Yuzu quickly tended to her brother and their guest's injuries. Soon a man with black hair spiked up like a broom, a beard, and a doctor's white coat rushed in to start checking the two boys and examine their injuries. After a few moments the two had their foreheads bandages, and Naruto was clenching his jaw as the father of three, Isshin Kurosaki, was stitching his hand's wound.

Yuzu was also busy cooking dinner, which smelled delicious, "Ichi-nii, will your new friend stay?"

Karin interrupted her sister, "We don't know who he is or what he did to get that way. He could be trouble."

Ichigo inwardly cringed at his sister's sharp eye, but Yuzu's kindness beat it, "They did arrive together, so he may not be such a bad guy."

Karin sighed, "Yuzu, you should question what kind of people Ichi gets along with."

Said brother growled, "What's that supposed to mean?!"

Just then, their father burst into the room, "Ok, here he is." He said with Naruto walking closely, "Now, can you two tell us what happened?"

Naruto lied expertly, "Your son saved me out of a pickle…" he said without missing a beat, "I was getting robbed, got attacked by a punk with a knife that I managed to catch with my hand before he stabbed me. By that time your son arrived, and so did more punks… They were about ten grown men, and one even had a hammer he used to try to knock us out."

Karin checked the blond teen's body language, finding something weird in how he told the story, but Yuzu didn't have that insight, "Wow, good job, Ichi-nii!" she hugged her big brother from behind, "Maybe now you can make some friends that aren't creepy and can talk more than Chad-kun!"

The two teens locked glares, "As if!" they said in unison, with Ichigo's finger aimed at the blond, "I got into a lot of trouble thanks to this punk!"

Naruto aimed his finger at Ichigo, "That should be my line! I wasted a lot of time on you!"

"With your ways of questioning, how wouldn't you waste time?!"

Yuzu trembled behind the kitchen counter while it looked like a fight was about to erupt. Isshin himself looked puzzled at the development. As for Karin, she went to the two boys, watched their legs, and with a swift kick to the back of their knees she knocked them down.

"Get out of your asses, you two." She said coldly as she stood over the two downed teens, "It's dinner time. You can stay, Blondie, so long as you and Ichigo don't fight."

Yuzu cheered up, "Oh, and if you want you could spend the night! Ichigo may be scary and mean, but he's real good when you get to know him. You could be friends!"

"Wait!" Isshin shouted with his hand raised before hooking that hand's thumb to his face, "I am the one to rule this house as its king, and I have the ultimate right to decide what our guest shall do." he then stared at Yuzu's large pleading eyes, "I guess Ichigo could try to be friends with someone he just saved."

Naruto inwardly cursed, he didn't expect his lie to end like this, "It's all good but I should head out and-"

"Oh, then where do you want me to drive you to?" Isshin offered.

Naruto whispered to the redhead, "Is your family always like this?"

"Even I'm not used to this." Ichigo replied to the blond.

The whiskered teen had to answer, and… "Well, I don't have a home to go to, so-"

"What?!" Isshin and Yuzu cried while Karin looked mildly interested, or perhaps so bored that this bit of info caught her attention.

Naruto cringed, "Listen, I can take care of myself. I got enough money for a nice hotel to stay at while I'm here, so-"

"Absolutely not!" Yuzu shouted, her hands on the boy's hips, "You said you don't have a home, and a hotel would feel cold and lifeless without someone to cheer you up! You will stay here with us!" she then stared at him with those damn teary puppy eyes that no man could resist, "Please?"

Naruto whispered to the redhead again, "How can you deal with this?"

Ichigo whispered back, "No-one can, that's why Yuzu basically rules this house."

Naruto sighed and patted the blonde girl's head, "Fine, I'll stay… Just don't cry, please."

"It's still a bad idea." Karin said as she sat down on the table. Isshin, however, looked at Naruto as if sizing him up, like how a wolf sized an enemy wolf entering his turf.

After a nice curry meal, the blond was forced into Ichigo's room, to wear some of the redhead's spare pajamas, and to sleep on the extra bed the family kept for guests. The two didn't hide their displeasure when they found themselves inside Ichigo's room's safety. The blond silently grabbed his pillow, smothered it, and let himself fall flat on his back.

Ichigo rested on his bed, and finally spoke to break the silence, "I got two questions for you…"

Naruto arched a brow, "Yeah? What is it?"

"What was that golden light you used?"

Naruto sighed and put his arms behind his head, lifting his head up, "It's called Hamon, or Ripple as some people call it. The way of Hamon was used to, and I'm not bullshitting you, fight monsters."

Ichigo raised a brow, "I have a spirit fighting by my side, I guess I can believe on monsters."

"It's meant to kill vampires and ghouls."

"Wait, you're serious?! … Why am I asking, you are."

"Few people can use it. I'm one of the lucky few…" he raised his right hand and exhaled, a golden glow coming to it before it died when he spoke next, "What's the other question?"

"Why don't you have a home?" Ichigo stared at the blond, "You said before that you had one before meeting the man with the eye tattoos on his arm. What happened?"

Naruto closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, "It's… complicated, but fine, I guess I owe you that much after our fight…" he looked up and growled, "That multi-eyed bastard… the one whose mate shot me with that freaking Arrow, put my mother in a coma."

Ichigo's eyes were wide and he lost his breath, ' _That can't be all…_ '

Naruto, as if reading the redhead's mind, continued, "I followed his trail here after it happened. I was just walking home, those two appeared, and I got shot. I managed to run away to my place and see if my mother was safe… She was collapsed on the ground, and I thought for a second she was dead. I then saw the archer walking behind me with a grin… Asshole told me that my mom had been shot with the arrow but she was different than me. He then finished his job and shot me in the chest… Oh, yes, I thought I was dead. But then the man with the eye tattoos grabbed the Arrow, pulled it out, and left… But not without summoning his Stand and… taking her soul…"

"That's how you got your Stand…" Ichigo stated, wanting to get the conversation somewhere else.

Naruto nodded and from his hand Lotus Juice appeared, "Lotus Juice has a unique ability. It can follow the truth. However, it's only able to follow one word." He showed Ichigo the tip of his right chain, with one word written on it: Stand. "It will follow anything related to that word. That's how I met you, and how I managed to track that bastard to this place. I've been here for some time, thanks to my old man's money that he left on his will for Mom and I…"

The two stared at the ceiling, and Ichigo finally spoke, "I kind of lied to you… about how I got Megadeth…" he closed his eyes, "The first time I felt its presence was when I was a kid. I was out of some karate classes, and my mother came to pick me up. We were walking back home until we met… him…" he groaned, "I saw a girl by a river and thought she was about to jump and drown herself, so I raced after her. It was all a trap set by some bastard. In the news there had been reports of a guy killing people by that river at night. It was late when we got out of the gym."

Naruto closed his eyes too, listening intently, ' _I only saw his sisters and father… This can't be good._ '

Indeed, it wasn't, "I grabbed the girl by her shoulders and pulled her out, only to find a mannequin. A shadow then loomed over me and I turned too late to see a man with a white mask and a knife jumping over me, but the shadow wasn't his. It was my mother's…" he sighed, "She got in the way of the knife, and got severely injured. It's been a long time, but to this day she remains in the hospital…" he groaned, "She's still alive, somehow, after nearly ten years. But when I saw her fall, I snapped. The killer raced at me, and that's when a cut appeared on his wrist. The idiot let go of his knife and tripped backwards. That's when the knife fell on his chest and killed him."

"Why tell me this?" Naruto finally asked.

"Why did you tell me your story?" Ichigo countered.

The two let out a sigh, "I'll be looking for that man with the eye tattoos." The blond said simply, "When I'm done, you and I can settle our fight once and for all."

Ichigo grinned, "Very well. I'll be there to make sure you don't die." Naruto's eyes widened and as he turned to the redhead Ichigo kept speaking, "Yuzu would be sad that I had the chance to help you and didn't, and I bet you want to see your mother wake up as much as I want to see mine to get out of that hospital bed."

Naruto grinned wider, "Don't worry, I'm not planning on dying until I can beat you up."

It was a weird way to say they got each other's back, but that's how a strange and very odd friendship started.

 **XXXXXX**

 **And that's my rap!**

 **I've been on a weird kick this month, working on a lot of weird ideas at random. I may post some of them as one-shots and possible stories I may get into. For now I hope you enjoyed this little insight on one of them, a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure tribute using the Naruto and Bleach franchise for a few laughs.**

 **And some trivia:**

 **-Ichigo's Stand has his Vasto Lorde mask, and its name is from one of the bands that further got me into metal. The one that got me into loving real music is Black Sabath, but that name's taken in Jojo lore.**

 **-Naruto's Stand, Lotus Juice, is based on Joseph's Hermit Purple, but the name comes from the awesome Japanese behind some of the Persona games' songs, and said games are based off Jojo. And I say this as an unbiased Persona and JJBA fan, so if you want to flame and rage do it somewhere else. I even have a Persona fic and a JJBA one to show I love both series.**

 **-The urge to write this came to me after thinking to myself, "Why do all Naruto and Bleach villains look like they need some serious change in their wardrobe…?" Then I thought of JJBA and you can do the math. I mean, come on, the most powerful characters in Naruto have horns and are considered gods… Pillar Men much?**

 **-I was pondering whether to finish this chapter with Hinata getting the Stone Mask and turning into a yandere vampiress after Naruto's butt to… well, I'm one of the people that think shy girls have the wildest fantasies.**

 **-Naruto and Ichigo's relationship is not based off Caesar and Joseph from Battle Tendency, but off Gan Ning and Ling Tong from Dynasty Warriors and Jin and Mugen from Samurai Champloo. Trust me, they want to kill each other but after a little talk they respect each other... while wanting to trade blows even harder.**

 **-The guy with the eye tattoos is NOT Danzo.**

 **That's all for now. Whether I go through with this or not is a matter of time. I'm glad I did this and it was a fun way to kill time.**

 **Swordslinger out!**


End file.
